Writers Block…
…comes mostly in the form of a big pair of neptunian blue eyes, but is also an unfortunate side effect (symptom?) of my quitting smoking. It’s been more than a month now, and although it’s something I feel good about every day, if I tried to pretend it hasn’t somehow intrinsically changed me, I’d be lying. I am still mourning the loss of my favorite vice, and there is still an empty hole in my routine of manymany years, and I haven’t quite, one hundred percent, acclimated to Life Without Cigarettes. What a fantastic prop, and procrastination tool, and built-in break, and conversation starter, or social barrier. These are all things I valued in a cigarette. These are all things gum Just Can’t Do.
The point of this whole story is that when I write, I smoke. Or I used to. It’s a pattern of behavior I picked up from my mother, and boy! did it help those words flow out of me, that constant mental stimulation that nicotine so beautifully delivered. It’s hard to write these days for that reason, aside from the fact that I am trying to have a Real Life, and not just write about my desire to have said life. I can’t give up my habit of Writing For Release, but it’s really tricky, this Non Smoking Thang…my hands twitch a little at the keyboard because there’s nothing to reach for when I get stuck.
I went on a shopping spree today. I have severe Buyers Remorse. I bought myself an iPod with a color video screen. In addition to the new kicks (there’s velcro on my shoes again! hooray!). And the three new shirts. And some socks. And some other stuff. I go crazy for a week when loan checks are disbursed, then it’s back to LBC aka Low Budget Crew, a not-so-subtle shout out to the status of students everywhere. Now if I could just quit eating out and buying drinks in bars, I’d maybe be on the path to fiscal responsibility. Psh.
October 1st, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Path to boringness, more like.
October 1st, 2006 at 6:41 pm
But you couldn’t ever be truly boring.