A Hooker’s work is never done

My challenge comes in the form of a long-distance boyfriend that’s in town for the weekend. It is safe to say that I am tripping a little bit. Nauseous, clammy hands, the whole nine… I suppose it’s a testament to how much I like this girl. Or perhaps it’s a testament to how much I Don’t savor the notion of sloppy seconds, especially since I’ve been getting lovey and delicious Firsts for six weeks, every day, all attention on me. I have grown quite used to this smart, sassy, HOT woman sleeping sweet on my shoulder, and now I don’t get to see her for several days because some guy from Chicago is gonna have his junk all up in her business.

Now, I have tried to be zen about this situation from the get-go. She’s never lied (that I know of…but I trust her), I knew about him before we ever got involved, and I see little point in getting super attached or hyperinvolved with someone that is going to be vacating Winston Salem in seven short months, when I am destined to spend the next nineteen months here at school. That is the logical side of my brain talking. Jump to the emotional, which is Where It’s All Happening… I really really Really like this girl. Alot. As in, It’s Suprising How Much I Like Her. We have an incredible time together, and we have nearly everything in common, which makes going out to dinner or picking movies really easy, and we’re extremely sexually compatible and everything feels so easy and right…except that I’m officially The Other Woman. Other Person, I guess I should say. I had thought that I could be okay with that, that it freed me up to see who I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. That’s all gravy in theory. However, we have this incredible connection that’s really doing it for me, and I find I don’t really want to see other people. And I’m finding that I’m not really comfortable with the fact that she does. I hate an ultimatum, and I’m not going to go there, it wouldn’t be fair or right since I knew beforehand there was a man involved, but I’m at an impasse with my thoughts. She hasn’t been particularly receptive to talking about it, even when I’ve tried to gently initiate a conversation about such things, and I suppose I’m afriad that if I voice my notion on being exclusive, she’ll walk.

The thing is, I don’t want her to walk. I don’t want a thing in the world to change about her. I mean, aside from the fact that she has a boyfriend. The question I struggle with now is, how do I work around the fact that I knowingly entered into this situation, and now want it to change for my own comfort and happiness? It seems selfish to me. I Knew. I Proceeded. I made an informed decision to spend a whole lot of time with a woman that’s not single. It doesn’t seem fair to me to ask her to make that change because now I’ve decided that I want to be with her, just us, even though that’s what seems natural to me, given the shape our relationship is taking.

Our relationship is the healthiest of any of my relationships so far, and that makes this whole situation that much more complicated. She’s a peach, batting a perfect 1000, except for this One Tiny Thing. What’s a girl to do?

What This Girl is going to do is clear out of town for the weekend, head to Asheville, and hopefully engage in some drunken bebauchery with my old friends. Nothing like staggering around drunk to help clear the head.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 18th, 2006 at 4:53 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.