Still Can’t Really Write…
It’s driving me nuts…on one hand, I’m so stoked that I’m still not smoking, six weeks later (!!!), but on the other, it’s really driving me crazy that I can’t really find it in me to write, still. It’s frustrating, this nicotine-free writers block. My lungs sure do feel good these days, and that’s all good and well. My sense of smell is Like Woah, and I enjoy that my hair doesn’t stink like cigarettes anymore, but it’s still really hard. Every day, it’s really hard. Every day, I want a cigarette worse and worse. I feel like I’m gonna cave any day now, and pretty much the only thing that’s keeping me On The Wagon is knowing that I’ve already done it for six weeks. Why not do it for one more? That’s what I keep telling myself. I’m trying to psych myself out…how crunk is that? I know that what I mean is I’m Telling Myself I can smoke in a week, when I don’t mean to smoke in a week at all, and Next Week I’ll say the very same thing all over. Does it make it less pathetic if it keeps working? I feel like such a crackhead junkie. Stupid cigarettes.
On a much happier note, the sky drop for my show is finished, and it looks absolutely fan-fucking-tastic! It’s gotten rave reviews all day long, from all the people that actually Need to like it, and compliments from all the people that I’m pleased I’ve impressed. I had an awesome crew, no doubt. It was Painting With Pals all weekend long, and even though it Was indeed a long weekend, it was fun. Now we just have to paint one more drop and a floor, and then we’re done with this show!
I’ve been having a grand ole time with OBE lately. The only problem is, We aren’t getting much sleep. I mean, not that I’m complaining. I’m just kinda always tired,except when it’s dark outside and we’re both done with work for the evening…then I get magical energy boosts and next thing I know, it’s 5 in the morning. On a school night. When we both have morning class. Tsk tsk tsk. Totally worth it.
