72 degrees and breezy
Today for lunch, Steve, Katy and I ate outside at The Loop, and all us of were mildly uncomfortable because we were overdressed. What the fuck? I remember a time when it was cold in NC during the winters. It snowed at least once a year, usually lightly, but it was noteworthy. I am beginning to think those days might be in passing.
I am convinced I have the Avian Bird Flu. I can’t kick whatever it is that I have. Currently, I am feeling about 87% better, but my left ear has maybe a 30% hearing loss due to sinuses that are stopped up tight. This makes talking on the phone during the holiday season a real bitch. I have my fingers crossed that I will awake tomorrow to a pleasantly open ear-ball. I can’t take much more. I’ve been sick for about ten days now. I Never get sick like this. Stupid strong, drug-resistent viruses. Stupid global warming. Stupid over-population.
I am currently engaged in an effort to forego purchasing a single present this season. I am making them all, dammit. I just can’t join in the frenzy of conspicuous consumption when it is so hard for me to make ends meet in the first place. Christmas always falls at the end of the loan check cycle…money comes into school on the 26th of December, and Merry Christmas, folks! It’s going alright, surprisingly. It’s kinda fun, and I will feel good if I do indeed manage to make everything I give this year. I should have had the foresight to do a bit of pre-planning, but I really work best under pressure, anyhoo.
I had to tell Dark Roast to stop contacting me yesterday. She has been unnervingly persistent in calling, when I haven’t returned a single call in months and months. Once, it was 18 times in one day. I got creeped out. I took the Pansy’s Option, and wrote her an email (which I think was kind and eloquent and tasteful), to which she responded by spending an evening calling and texting me. I stayed strong, and didn’t answer, because if I had spoken with her, I would have wound up apologizing for the way I feel, even though I didn’t mean it. She would make me think I did. An accomplished Guilt Master, that one. I got an email today, full of stuff meant to make me doubt myself, or feel bad for my decision. Happily, it all just rolled right off my back. Didn’t cause one, tiny guilty flutter. I’m so much better than all her bullshit. It feels good to know that. It feels good to do the right thing for myself, finally. She made me feel bad about myself for years, and I like me, so there is no need for such a toxic relationship. Especially when I have such a peach of a woman in my life. There is nothing like a little perspective every now and then, to get your brain straightened out.
Back to present-making. I can’t believe Xmas is in a week. Yipes!
